Sunday, April 8, 2007

I'm in love




I'm in love with my pumpkin Jay. Now here's what I have to work with (see pics above).
1) Jay showing mommy his monkey face.
2) Jay not liking mommy telling him not to get on the stairs.
3) Jay trying to negotiate with mummy about climbing the stairs.

We just finished the round of tests with the doctors and he's doing great. The first blood test was horrible though. Lenin had to go back to work and I was left alone with Jay and the big needle. He started screaming when he saw the lab coat of the lab person. I had to hold him down as hard as I could (without breaking him), and with me crying, him yelling and the lab dude swearing, we got it all done in around 5 minutes. I'm never taking Jay to the labs again ie alone. Lenin is going to be the bad guy the next time.

Also have you every had to do a urine test on a little kid? They give you a little bag that the child is supposed to pee in. I spoke about this bag to my friends and they assured me that it was easier for a boy than a girl. Ofcourse, all these friends of mine only have daughters.

Well it aint and I'm on my 5th bag. See Jay, doesnt pee a lot at one stretch and the bag is flimsy and if you dont get the pee at the right time, the bag will leak and the pee will be lost. I've finally found the trick, cut a hole in his diaper, pull part of the pee bag through it, watch it fill and take it out when it was done. PHEW!!! The only other option left if all else failed, was to make Lenin pee in it.
Here's more of Jay.



Thursday, March 8, 2007

Spending time with Jay



He is such a cutie (even if I say so myself). We have definitely been blessed. Though this has not been easy for the both of us.

I dont know what I thought life after Jay would be like. I didnt think that every minute of my time would be occupied with him, or how much I would look forward to 12:00 pm when he would take his afternoon nap. I love Jay but most of the time I dont know what to do to keep him occupied. We have loads and loads of toys but he loves his toys with us attached to it. And I'm sure my arms are longer now, they feel like it, I have muscles too with all the lifting I do. I also think I walk slanted now since he likes sitting on my hip. Hah, the whines of a mom eh?

Ok, I have to say this loud, I think me going back to work will be like a vacation (I know this sounds ridiculous). Now dont get me wrong, I'm happy, but I'm still not used to being a mom. I forgot to take a shower yesterday and when Lenin reminded me last nite it scared me, since I'd never forgotten to take a shower before. Sheesh, I dont want to let myself go, I can be hip and be a mom. Reminder- go to the hair dresser.

Here is the latest update on Jay.
He like his car seat now. He loves his stroller especially if you have a stash of cheerios somewhere where he can get it. He is getting used to the high chair and his crib. We have moved Jay out of our beds and into the crib. He tosses and turns (rolls on his head and butt even) in the night and when sleeping with us, he'd keep us both awake. So we moved him to the crib near our bed, we put him in the crib when he's still awake so that he knows that the crib is where he needs to sleep in.

We also have Jay on a schedule. He wakes up around 7:00 am, has a bottle, then breakfast around 8:00 am. Snacks in between. Lunch around 11:00 am. Nap time at 12:00 pm. He sleeps for 2 hrs. Then he wakes up, has a bottle, then about 3:00 pm, he has his evening snack (cottage cheese and fruit or veggies) and dinner around 6:00 pm. He then has a bath (which helps him sleep) and then another bottle and goes to bed around 7:30 pm.

So far the schedule has been working with him, he knows when he needs to take a nap and when he gets his food etc.

Its my nap time now, so off I go. Will post updates later.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Pictures


We have pictures finally. And oh yes, we're back. I'm still jetlagged hence the late evening posting - I'm still on India time.


All went well with the flights. We got everything on time, even the Los Angeles to Phoenix connection. We only had a 2 hr 40 min time in between and the guy who processed Green Cards at the immigration had said first that we would have to wait since he had no help today. He had sent all the families in front of us to the waiting area. I told him about our connecting flight to PHX and asked if there was any way he could speeden it up. He said he would ask his colleague, we prayed. I was tired, Lenin was irritated and Jay - well he was both. He came back and said that he was going to pass us through. I just cant believe how God has guided us through this all... Its a miracle.


Jay is doing great at home. For the first time in his life, he has a lot of space, one on one attention and as much food as he wants. Yes, my baby loves his food. He also loves to walk holding on to my and Lenin's hands. He also loves Lenin and uses him as his mattress to go to sleep on.


He hates having his diapers changed, hates his high chair, hates baths, and hates sleeping in the crib. He's getting better though and we'll be persistent.


I just wanted to thank all of you for your support. I know I would not have made it this far without our friends and family.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Day after

We took it easy.. Did some local shopping. Jay was still being good, he loved bananas and he calls that nana. Dont know if he was calling me momma instead of nana (maybe I look like a big juicy banana to him) :) .

Tomorrow we travel back. We're coming home.. I'll post pictures then... Talk to you all soon.

Embassy Day

We left for the Embassy around 7:00 am. We wanted to make sure we got there by 8:00 am when it opened. It was still foggy in the morning, there was no traffic and for the first time, we felt a bit relaxed. On the way, we saw a pack of monkeys (15-20) of them by the side of the road. They were only as big as Jay...

Talking about our little monkey Jay, he's doing very good. He had a good Poop session (score) in the morning, had almost 5 oz of formula and a good nap. He loves food. That was the way he started calling me Momma. I'd hold out the food to him, he'd look up and say Momma (of course I wont mention that he called Lenin Dada from day 1, sniff sniff). I'm so glad he's doing good. He still needs to see Lenin for security, but he wants to eat with me and he'll hold my fingers and walk down the hotel floor. He also adores all the hotel staff ( I think they remind him of the staff at the orphanage).

Back to the Embassy, we reached there around 8:00 am, we get in a line to get frisked by security. They then tell us to go to American Citizen Services. There they frisk us again, they even make us taste any liquid we have with us (and formula tastes yuk!!!). Then we go in and we're made to wait in a big hallway. They then call our names and take us to the DHS (Dept of Homeland Security) section. There we meet Mr Manoj Mahay for the I-600. He is such a nice man, he asks about Jay and how he's coping (thankfully Jay is fast asleep). It takes about 15 mins. We have all the documents he needs, the only thing that was scary was that he said that it was good we had stated that we wanted to adopt from infant - 15 yrs, since Jay was 15 mths only. If we had put it as any number below 15 months, we would have had issues since we had had to wait so long. He also said that they were getting stricter and that the next families coming in would be required to show the NOC (CARA clearance). Note to self: Tell Dillon.

After the I600, we were escorted back to the first waiting room. Since we had done the doctors the day before, we went to apply for the visa. They gave us the form, we filled it, gave them the medical packet, payed the visa fee ($380) and they told us to come back around 2:00 pm for the visa interview. We went out and had lunch with Grace, Shane and Jadyn (they were with us the entire time)

Then we came back around 2:00 pm. They called us for the visa interview, there was a nice man called Eric Johnson who made us take the oath. He told us that we would have the golden packet in 30 mins if we wanted to stick around. WE DID!!!. The entire process took from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm. IT WAS GREAT!!!.

Monday, February 19, 2007

We have Jay!

Its been 3 days since I last posted anything. The web access at the hotel has been too slow and I just had luck today with the post.

The last 3 days have been the happiest as well as the most stressful that I've ever had. We got to the Kolkata airport on time and checked into the Hindustan International Hotel smoothly. They had their hotel car waiting for us at the airport. And the hotel was great. Nice large rooms and great service.

Saturday Feb 17th, we left for the orphanage around 1.30 Pm to pick up Jay. I was totally unprepared for what came next. The orphanage was nothing like I expected. What surprised me the most was how tiny it was, but one thing shone through was how much Mrs Roy and her staff loved the children.. But the hardest part of it all was when I tried to pick up Jay. He yelled Bloody murder and cried like crazy. He also had a cold and the ayahs kept picking him up.. Mrs Roy assured me that the crying would stop once he left the orphanage.. I still had to take pictures but all I wanted to do was leave so that he could stop crying. I'm glad Grace's husband Shane was with us since my hands couldnt stop shaking while I was taking the pictures.

Jay settled a bit in the car ride back to the hotel and he snuggled in Lenin's arms that car ride. Once back at the hotel he settled in and had a long nap.. After that he took to Lenin and he'd cry every time I picked him up.. That was hard on me but I'm glad he's bonded to Lenin atleast. I'm still working on winning him over.

Sunday, we left Kolkata for Delhi. And Monday we did the visa photos and visited the doctor for the visa medical packed.

Tomorrow, we do the embassy. I'll post more later. I'm so tired.

Friday, February 16, 2007

We got passports

Oh I almost forgot. We got passport, YIPPEEE... Tami called us while we were waiting for the flight out to LAX. She said that the orphanage director had the passport in her hands. That was just the news we needed to start on this trip. We are blessed.

We're almost there

We're 5 hrs away from Kolkata - in Singapore. We landed here at 1:00 am, roamed around the singapore airport a bit looking for assistance since we wanted the free hotel. Missed the last free shuttle to the free hotel. Got a cab and landed there anyway.. The hotel was good, not great but clean and a very inviting bed. That was all that I needed. I was sick (nauseated) for most of the journey so I was ready for anything horizontal to lie on... (18 hrs on a plane)...

Tonight at 9:05 Pm we get on the plane to Kolkata and tomorrow I'll have Jay in my arms. If only I would stop throwing up...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Off we go

We are ready, packed and set to go. 12 hrs to go before we get on the plane to LAX. This is finally happening and I'm a wreck...

Before I get off this site, I want to thank everyone for their support. We are so blessed to have so many friends, family, our church family...And we'll miss you..

So off we go.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Passport Office catches Fire

Sigh!. I know it sounds like a news headline. Can you believe it? Jay's passports were done, printed out and in the dispatch away bin. And this was all done on Friday. So why couldnt they "dispatch" it on Saturday since Saturday was a working day... WHY??????

The good news is that it was a small fire and only some computer equipment was damaged. Hopefully the dispatch bin is still intact.

We are still leaving on Valentine's Day. I'm praying for a miracle and a miracle it will be to have Jay's passport waiting for us when we get to Kolkata. I wish we had some peace before we travelled but I dont think so... We are going to have to hit the ground running. Please pray for us.

Friday, February 9, 2007

The Itinerary

Here's the D Day err Week plan.

Wed Feb 14th.
5:00 Am: Wake up, give Lenin a hug (its Valentine's day).
8:15 Am: Get on a plane (with Lenin) to Los Angeles.
8:30 Am -12:30 PM: Roam around LAX airport with luggage looking for Grace and Shane who are supposed to be travelling with us.
1:00 PM: Get on a plane to Singapore with or without Grace and Shane (hopefully with!!!).

Fri Feb 16th.
1:30 Am: Arrive at Singapore sleepy eyed. Get Singapore airlines to take us to the free hotel they promised us. Arrive at hotel as promised and say - O wow Great hotel (please make it be!!!).
6:00 Pm: Get out of the hotel all refreshed and get back to the airport.
9:05 Pm: Get on plane from Singapore to Kolkata.
10:35 Pm: Arrive at Kolkata. We then zip through customs and find a nice little man with big board saying "Welcome to Kolkata, Arthanari family". Hopefully Grace and Shane have somebody waiting too.
11:30 Pm: Get into well air conditioned and nice smelling car to Hindustan International.
12:30 Pm: We are welcomed by a bouquet of flowers and a nice looking hotel person. And we get escorted by our personal butler to our room in which are placed fresh flowers, a large fruit basket and a big bucket full of chocolates. We then sleep peacefully.

Sat Feb 17th.
This is the day we will pick up Jay.. This is what I've been waiting for...

Sun Feb 18th.
We buy Jet Airways ticket for Jay and then leave for Delhi at 5:00 pm. We arrive at Delhi at 7:00 pm and go to Hotel Clark International.

Mon Feb 19th.
This is day for Visa photos and doctor appointment for Embassy.

Tue Feb 20th.
Embassy day.

Wed Feb 21st.
Get Golden packet.

Thu Feb 22nd.
Get flight out of Delhi and coming back home with Jay.

We are leaving

It's lunch time and I finally have 15 mins to myself. And all I can do is sit at my desk with a silly grin on my face. I am happy. We are finally leaving to pick up our lil puddin Jay. We have our tickets booked, hotels booked and no passport. Wait...

Ok, we got one update today. The passport office said that they would have the passports out by the 12th. So we could travel and the passports would be ready when we get there. YIPPEE. I'm going to believe them this time.

So, here I am with a grin on my face. I just cant believe that I'm finally going to be a mommy. I'm a bit nervous too. I hope I'm a good mommy, my only experience is in raising our dog - Charlie and he seems ok. A bit spoiled, very needy but otherwise happy. And thats all that matters, right???

Friday, February 2, 2007

Pictures

We got more pictures of Jay yesterday. Pam and Joel who just came back from India with their son Micah took pictures of most of the waiting kids at the orphanage. Our little Jay made quite an impression with her. Here's what she had to say:

Jay seemed completely wonderful and healthy to me. He was by far the most friendly baby that we met at the orphanage. He was all smiles and allowed me to hold him for several minutes. He laughed, smiled, clapped his hands. He was a true delight. From what I could tell Jay was just excited and happy. I did see him walk a bit as well before they picked him up. He seemed like he was doing wonderfully. I'm absolutely certain that this little boy is going to brighten your life in ways you can't even imagine.

I'm such a proud mama. And God bless Pam and Joel for taking the time to hold him.

We also got an update from Tami (our Dillon India coordinator).. The passports are almost done.. They have been approved and are in the process of being printed out so we hope they will be done soon.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The nail biting begins...

Yesterday, we booked our plane tickets to Kolkata. We are travelling on Singapore airlines, from LAX to Kolkata and return from Delhi to LAX. We are set for the 14th of Feb, valentines day...

Ofcourse, we dont have Jay's passport yet. Without that, we cannot go to India and bring him back. We were told by the passport office that the passport would be ready by Feb 5th. We are praying for that... Please pray for us. We have waited so long and we just cannot wait any longer.

Ooo, the nail biting begins...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

And now to relax a bit

The next process is getting Jay's passport. The process normally takes 30-40 days (we hope our wait is normal).

We got the legals in our hands on Jan 8th 2007. We had to wait a while because the orphanage had to get the legals from the court and then apply for passport. In the process, they did something wrong with Jay's photos that were needed for the passport application. So they had to retake the pictures. Once that was all taken care of, the package was on its way. The package had to first go to Oklahoma. They had an ice storm so things were going to be delayed further.

They then applied for ICPC. This is a required process for families that reside outside of Dillon's processing states. I wanted to make sure there was no hold up for us travelling to India. I didnt want the ICPC process to take longer than passport processing.

2 days ago, we got a phone call telling us that ICPC Arizona had approved our application. Yippee!!! All we had to wait for was the passport.
O Lord, please make the passport come soon....

The Legals- To Judge or not to Judge

Most of you who are reading this blog know about our long and ardous process in trying to get legal guardianship for Jay. Our case went into the Kolkata legal system on June 25th 2006. The normal processing time was from 1 to 2 months.

On July 18th , we got word that our case was approved. We were ecstatic. That meant we could travel even before we thought we could. We could pick up Jay in Sept, he would be 9 months old then... We started planning for our baby shower. We ordered our crib, and started decorating our nursery...

A few days later, we got the news that even though our case had been approved, the judge had left his office and there was going to be a new judge. The case had not been signed yet, so the approval meant nothing.. But the Indian orphanage assured us that the signing would happen soon, it usually did.

The new judge came in and did nothing for a whole month, and then he quit! Our case was still not signed.

The second week of August, there was another new judge. The orphanage said that they knew this judge and that he would work quickly. Our case was on the top of the list followed by Sreyoshi's case.

We got to know Grace's family those few months. We'd call each other every day and pray. We'd pray that the judge would pick up our case and sign. All we wanted was a signature.

The judge did NOTHING!!! He'd go to work and do NOTHING!!! I could not believe that there was no process or control over this process, wasnt there somebody who was supervising this judge?

Finally, on Nov 7th, the judge said that he'd hear our case. He was going to hear Jadyn's case on Nov 8th. We waited... We didnt hear anything on the 7th or the 8th. On the 9th, we heard that our case was not heard because a lawyer had died and the court was closed. I know I should feel bad for the attorney's family but I couldnt believe it. He had to die on my court date??!!!!! What was this- the whole world was conspiring against us getting Jay. WHAT?????

By now, I was not doing so well. I'm not a patient person by nature, and this was pushing me to the limits. At work, I was finding it harder and harder to deal with the pressure. I had no tolerance for anyone who was not doing his/her job. If I could, I would have flown to India and wrung the judge's neck. I would call the Dillon office and ask for information every single day. The Indian orphanage said that they planned on complaining to the high court but they kept stalling on it.. I wanted to know why.... The only thing that kept me sane during those times was my Lenin (he is so good for me) and my daily prayers with Grace.. When I questioned God's intentions at this time, she would keep me straight.. And when she would get depressed, I'd try to perk her up..

Finally the judge decided to move his BIG BUTT, and schedule court dates for cases. Unfortunately, it looked like he took the stack of cases and turned them upside down. So those of us who had waited the longest, had dates way later and those who got into the process late, had dates earlier. The first case was heard and approved on Nov 20th. They got signatures the next day. We prayed that the judge would continue. He didnt.

We had always prayed for a miracle and here was one. The family who got their signatures that day hadnt even had their referral when we first went into the court. But God had decided that it was time for them to get their child. And we still had to wait. It was very hard. I was happy for them but it was not fair, we had waited the longest. How could God do this to us? I prayed for a long time with Grace that day. And Grace, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I could not have done this without you.

The orphanage finally decided to go to the high court. I called the Dillon office and said that I wanted to write a letter to the high court judge. Even though the attorney was going to represent our case, he was going to represent the entire orphanage and he didnt care which order or when cases were heard. I did. So I got with Grace and another family who also had approvals, and drafted a letter to the court. We each presented our own unique situation and this letter was given to the High court judge. We didnt know exactly what this would achieve, but we hoped that there would be some influence placed on the judge.

Finally we heard that the judge had given us a new date on December 14th. We hoped that nothing bad would happen on that day, no lawyer or judge deaths, no bombs, earthquakes, nothing.. we wanted a perfectly normal day. The next day, Lenin while perusing through the Indian newspapers found out that there was a scheduled strike on December 14th. WHAT?? I had to scream into my pillow. This was NOT HAPPENING. I made a few frantic phone calls, we needed the date changed. The Dillon representative also had a long talk with attorney (she told him about our case in particular, how our paperwork had been in process for the longest time and that it was going to be expiring soon). She basically gave him a boot up his (ahem). He promised to get our case heard the next week. He seemed quite sure (how come, this didnt happen sooner is what I want to know).

On Tuesday, December 12th, our case was heard and approved. FINALLY!!!! On December 15th, our case was signed. Finally, Jay was legally ours... OURS!!!. Another bit of good news, Grace's case was heard and approved too... God is AWESOME!!!

I still hated the judge. Jay turned 13 months on December 15th. The judge robbed us of those months in Jay's life. I would still like to get a hold of him, and slap him silly.

Friday, January 19, 2007

His name shall be...


The name, Arghya means an offering to the Lord. I think our baby got his name at the orphanage. I dont know how they pick the names or who does it but I love that name.

But Arghya is going to a hard name to pronounce in the US. And we've always wanted to call our baby Jay if it was a boy. So his name shall be Jay (the names means Victory).

Also we got newer pictures of Jay. He's growing so fast. Oooh, I wish I could hold him now..

We also found out the he has a little buddy (a girl-friend???!!!!). Her name is Sreyoshi. She's one week younger than Jay. We got to know her to-be parents- Grace and Shane from Oklahoma.

Its so amazing how God works. Grace and Shane accepted the referral of Sreyoshi at the same time we accepted Jay's referral. And the best part, their family is very must like our family, similar age group, with no prior children and strong Christians. It would be great if we could travel together to pick up our children. And I hope these 2 children will grow up knowing each other. God is truly Amazing!!!

NOC

The next step in the adoption process was to receive NOC (No Objection Certificate) from CARA (Central Adoption Resource Agency). We learned that our acceptance papers had reached India and that they were already at CARA..

The normal processing time for CARA was around 30 days. On June 24th, we heard that we had NOC.. Yeah!!!..

We also got another bit of good news.. We got an update about Arghya; he's meeting all his milestones, he has started to crawl. Isnt that great??? He does not have hypertonicity in his limbs.. God is Great!!!

Onto the next step- legal guardianship

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Our first glimpse


By March 2006, we had been on the waiting list for about 3 months. I was getting anxious. We had not received any referrals so far.

Every monday morning, I'd place my courtesy call to Jynger and all she could tell me was that it would be soon.

Finally on March 31st 2006, we got the CALL. We had a referral- a little boy named Arghya. He was born on November 15th 2005. He was a preemie...weighing about 1.7 kg, height of 44cm and head circumference of 31cm. His medical history said that he had mild hypertonicity in his limbs.

We talked to several doctors to find out what they thought about his medical condition. And we prayed. This was the answer to our prayer. We needed to trust Him to take care of our baby.

On April 30 2006, we accepted Arghya's referral.


Our Story so far...

Lenin and I have been wanting to adopt ever since we first started dating. Once we got the wedding out of the way, we decided to start the adoption process as soon as possible. We had no clue on where to begin or whether we could (you see my husband is a US Citizen and me - just a petty green card holder with an Indian passport). But one thing we were sure of, was that we wanted to adopt from India.

So our journey began with Google (that fabulous search engine- all you require is one word) which led us to Dillon International.

In June of 2005, we started our Application Part 1 with Dillon. We got to know some great people along the way; Jynger from Dillon and Catherine Braman from Oasis Adoptions (for our home study process). We also met our dear friends - Agni and Adrienne and baby Alyssa during this process. We zipped through mountains of paperwork (aka Dossier stuff) and were finally put on the esteemed NRI LIST in November 2005. We were so excited, since we only had one family ahead of us on the list.

We waited patiently (Ok, those of you who know me better, please ignore this comment).